Wearers of ClothMoth are a close-knit bunch. So we don’t take too kindly when some Ed Hardy or Big Johnson wearin’ facebutts start getting rude all up on our property.

Prime example: this outstanding citizen was innocently indulging in some cinnamon apple pancakes (and quite likely a side of hash browns) before shopping for some Horehound candy drops, a new rocking chair, and a biscotti-scented candle at his metropolitan-area Cracker Barrel when his Subaru was defiled in the parking lot.

We like to think his Kalashnipod shirt, seen in the reflection of his crime scene photo, foiled the plot.

Original poster, owner of said Subaru, eater of crackers from barrels, drop us a note. We’d like to send you one of our soon-to-be-released tees of complete awesomeness to soothe your ails, gratis of course.